Wednesday, October 1, 2008

a thorn



I'm feeling irritated.

I think I have a bone to pick.

Since this 'thing' has been stewing inside now for a couple of days,

and I'm being CRANKY!

So m calls me to say that she and d have made a trip to Vermont, and how wonderful it was and that they 'dashed' over (an extra 90 minutes or so) to visit miss Becky in NH.

"Oh, Jenny, her house was perfect! It was SO clean! I even peeked in her closets, and they were so organized!"

so don't misread this--i really do feel happy for Becky. i'm actually really happy about this. i know how good it feels to have things neat and tidy. (It's like a fading, distant memory, actually)

So I reply in a pining tone... oh, I wish MY house were so neat and clean!

And m, in her m-erly way says, "Oh, it's just her thing."

My tragic mistake is pondering that statement.

and it makes me think: so if neat and clean is her thing, does that mean that m thinks that neat and clean is NOT my thing? (Why do I do this?)

And you know, blah, blah, blah... the m-erly comments keep coming, about how busy I am, and so on and so forth, yada yada... and truthfully, they're not really helping.

So it's like a canker, annoying me more, the more I think about it. Because I'm NOT powerless to do something about my LESS than perfect abode,

but I don't seem to be motivated at this point, to try and 'keep up with the Beckys' if you get my drift. (Do I sound bitter?) It's festering.

Please don't let it be so.

I had a therapeutic conversation with miss B just last evening.

(after some retail therapy yielded a new purse. no guilt here.)

I spilled it all. with gusto. She laughed. I whined.

Then I mentioned that this was becoming such a part of who i DIDN'T want to be, that I might just blog about it.

And that got me to mourning her lack of internet and computer.

and then she proposed an excuse for her super-tidiness thing that I can actually live with.

Fellow-blogging addicts:

(sadly, i'm feeling that I fall into this category after less than 3 dozen posts)

SHE (B) is a cleaning lady now, because she can't be a blogging lady.

Somebody come lock away my keyboard, and my house will be cleaner.

but I'd miss this. and you.

so there you have it.

the chips have fallen.

I'm already feeling less cranky.

Thanks for listening.

12 comments:

Smilin' sunshine said...

It is hard not to compare ourselves with others! That is the reason my husband thinks these blogs can be dangerous!

You can't be perfect at everything! Even if you are a Hutchins! Try being one of us mortals looking in on a Hutchins world!

Aaron H. said...

seriously - you blogging people - the things you could do with your time.

and what makes it worse is that you actually live to blog now. you go through your day wondering what you can blog about, or do something only because you can then blog about it!

do you control the blog or does the blog control you?

LL said...

as much as I WANT to disagree with Aaron, and defend my blogginess. I have to agree with him 100%. We really COULD do better things with our time. BUT, couldn't we ALL?!?!
My blogs take 10-20 minutes a day to write. THAT is worth is to me. It's the checking of other blogs that I spend my time doing. But it's something I enjoy. SO, moderation in all things and it's OK! Blog on my friend. We would hate it if you didn't. But certainly don't let it stop you from doing the things you NEED to do.
There you have it, MY opinion. Let your chips fall, we'll help you pick them up...that's what blog support is all about. Mothering is HARD and sometimes we need an outlet.
I don't think the blog controls you. I mean, look at the jeans hanging on your clothes line, I think LAUNDRY controls you...just like it does the rest of us.
that's all :)

Unknown said...

amen, LL.
laundry DOES control me.
dishes control me.
meal planning and prep control me.
kids' schedules control me.
so do the volunteering, church callings and Mr. Morning.
I recognize that I could do a better job of limiting my time on the computer. it's an outlet.
I have a kitchen timer. I know how to use it. It does come in handy sometimes.
Mothering IS hard.
I am grateful for the support.
I feel it.
I think if I weren't blogging, I'd feel less of that 'you're doing a great job!' reinforcement.
So thanks, my friend.

ChefTom said...

You can't stop blogging Jenny, you have become a cornerstone of this little world I visit every morning.

I bet your house would be perfect if you hadn't spent a whole morning in the rain picking up the trash, so it isn't your fault, yeah, that's it, it is someone else's fault so it is out of your control.

Hope that helped. :-)) <--double chin

The Mormon Monk said...

Don't leave me! Keep it coming Jen; you make me smile (and I've always thought your house was so much cleaner than it needed to be...which shows you where I stand).

Becky said...

Thanks for BLOGGING on my dear sister. I must continue to feed my addiction...your house always looks so great when I visit - does that count for something?

shirlgirl said...

Hey, Jenny--you have 6 (SIX) children, 5 of which you have to get out of the house for school and 1 who desires your attention. Perhaps it's time for the children to do their own laundry as well as the dishes. You be responsible for the morning dishes because they all have to run off to school. Lunch is just you and Mason. Dinner dishes--o.k., kids. These get done BEFORE homework--no griping. Your Mom is tired. The same for cleaning house--each one take a room and do it without grumbling. You've done it long enough. Jen, come to my house--the dining room table is covered with "stuff", magazines and newspapers sit on the middle cushion of the couch for me to read, the bedrooms have kitties under the bed, the stairs are dusty and only clean where we walk, AND I AM RETIRED!!! My house was going to be the cleanest house on the block because I would have all kinds of time to keep it that way--WRONG!! I'm too busy being retired and doing what I want to do. And, there are only two of us plus my Lily girl. You need your auntie to come out some day to help her dear niece. Just let me know when you are available and I'll check my schedule. Love you, love your blogging, and don't stop.
Love, Aunt Shirley

Jane said...

You can't stop blogging...not when I just found you! I think that blogging in a great outlet. For me it is the only journal I keep. I plan on sharing this with grandkids and great grandkids one day. Also Elder Ballard asked us to share our beliefs on our blogs/websites. And you do a great job of that as well.
So I think you should feel no guilt what so ever for blogging!

I for one think you are pretty amazing, and you should never compare yourself to anyone else.

Keep on blogging sistah!

Christy said...

Sisterly comparisons are never good for us...blood related or not, but we all do them. Just come over here to my abode, you are in danger if you open a closet door.
But I look at my blog as a journal of my thoughts and children's events that I wouldn't record any other way. And it is a quick way to send a little love to a friend, in church it is called "fellow-shipping". We all need lots of it to get by and stay sane.
I love reading your idea's and thoughts, it is my therapy, so worth the time.

Michael Stokes said...

I am remembering Elder Holland's talk from April 07 conference.

Don't compare even if you think your good at it

Tina said...

Oh Jen Jen, this is silliness really. Need I remind you, YOU'RE AMAZING!! YOUR HOUSE DOES NOT NEED TO PERRFECT AND ORGANIZED TO PROVE IT!! In fact, you know what, i'm glad it isn't necessarily, (from the sounds of things), because you know what, it means you've taken the time it would take to make it ideal, and used it to be with your family, or SERVE your family, or chuch or friends, and those are the MOST important things in LIFE!! NOT A CLEAN AND ORGANIZED HOUSE!! All you need to know, is you do what you can, you're a WONDERFUL Mother, Sister, Freind, You're WONDERFUL and i love you and have ALWAYS ADMIRED you!! And you're beautiful house!! :)
So here's a hug and kiss from far away!!
<3 Tina