Friday, April 24, 2009

the if-then quandry

If necessity is the mother of invention, then WHY? oh why? I ask, is teleportation not an option yet? I need to be in two different places to pick up two different children on two different nights of the week. I start to make my ultra gourmet dinner entree, and find that the open and bottomless pit that is a teenager's mouth/stomach has consumed the main ingredient. I have six minutes to return the red box rental which is a twelve minute drive away before we're charged another day's fee. Can you imagine the possibilities? Late for church? How about that time I went to church with two different shoes on? Teleportation would have been a sweet option. Less humbling than how it played out in real life. Public Restroom phobia? Excuse me, I'll be right back. *poof* Although I do, to some extent, need to give some credit for my rock-hard-Goddess Athena thighs to the paranoia of the public toilet. I'm a squatter. Touch nothing. (Thanks, Mom.)

Doesn't this beg the question "Why have the carbon-hating greenlings not been working on this?" J.K. Rowling was on to something with the Floo Network. Can you imagine? No more emissions tests. No more rush hour traffic. No more economic stimulus packages for the automobile industry. I'm feeling inspired. Inspired to prod you science-minded people to act. And quickly, please! I have things to do, places to be and people to see! And I'd like to be earth-friendly while I'm transporting myself. Captain Kirk did it... Beam me up (Scottie).


Smilin' sunshine said...

You are too funny! I LOVE this idea! It would be fabulous and save so much time!

Jo Jo said...

Fab idea. Maybe with the remake of Star Trek someone will actually think it's a good idea, besides those of us who are not scientists. Which son, which ingredient?

Becky said...

Bravo! Sign me up. This was FUNNY! :)

ps: my kids aren't coming...because i know you were wondering. ;)