I must have done something wrong.
I must have had a perfect childhood.
I must not have enough to worry about.
The stress Gods must sense that things have been going pretty smoothly at our house.
This is the letter that came home from the elementary school yesterday:
There is an outbreak of lice in your child's classroom. All the children in the class have been checked. I am including a pamphlet with information.
Please call with any questions.
[The School Nurse]
NO, School Nurse, YOU may feel free to call ME. Because the only question I have is WHY?? Regarding any other lice-related questions, I have become the expert. I do know that the months of August, September, October and January are the peak months for lice infestations... but why oh why do parents continue to send their children back-to-school with lice to share?
And WHY does it keep happening in my little town?
In MY childrens' classrooms?
Why is it, that in ALL of my childhood and early adult years, I NEVER experienced this ugly phenomenon?
Why must we continue to be plagued by the fear of this pestilence?
This enormous affliction?
This epidemic that leaves us paranoid?
WHY this curse?
WHY must we live with this scourge?
Lice outbreak: I shake my fist at you!
(and while we're at it, I shake my fist at YOU, cold and flu germs!)
I say NO! You are NOT welcome here.
P.S. My kids do NOT have lice. They ARE going to school with tightly braided hair smelling of coconut and tea tree oils. This is where I really begin to ponder the benefit of online courses. Do they offer those for elementary school subjects?...