Monday, December 12, 2011

It's Monday: step away from the fig bars

I am a cosmopolitan woman, busy with lists of things to get done each day in my little world of kids and culture.  I like to start the day thinking I have it all under control.  At 4:45am, Dub and I were working out with Tony Horton in the basement.  It's not my happy hour, but Mr. Dub's understanding, and doesn't expect me to answer back or smile at that time of day.  When I packed the kids' lunches, I cut extra carrot sticks and pepper strips to put in baggies for my run-around car snacking.  I know myself.  If I didn't do this, I might find myself desperately emptying the glove box in search of old gum or chewing on bits of stale granola bar pieces the kids dropped in the back seat, and a wad of grocery bag; because let's face it:  isn't there something almost desirable about the smell of a paper bag from the grocery store?
I digress.
After my visit to the home of a talented friend (she is a whiz at cabinetry, remodeling projects, mouse extermination, basement flooding trouble-shooting and plumbing) I ran off to accomplish many tasks, feeling like I needed to at least walk down the aisles of Home Depot so I could make myself feel more competent.  Instead, I excelled at using coupons to finish up some Christmas shopping.  When I burst through the door a few hours later, parcels in hand, I went down my mental list of things to get done at home before the kids started trickling home from school and piano students knock on the door:
-put wood on the fire
-put groceries away
-put wet wash in the dryer
-hide Christmas gifts I just bought
-return borrowed items to the neighbor before she heads off to work
-listen to phone messages
-check email
Before I knew it, I was famished, and needed lunch STAT.  My choice? A can of diet cherry Dr. Pepper, a bag of ripple potato chips and some ranch dip.  With a chaser of Daddy Ray's low fat fig bars.  I feel like I just went from respectable member of society to desperate college student during finals week needing a food intervention.  Who even buys Daddy Ray's low fat fig bars, anyway?  Sick.
I have until dinner time to redeem myself.


Melanie said...

My entire last week went something like this! I've vowed to make this week one of balanced meals.

ellen said...

Thinking any low fat item is a treat is a low point!

Aaron H. said...

"With a chaser of Daddy Ray's low fat fig bars."

A chaser? Really? What? Do you moonlight on the side as a barista?

shirlgirl said...

Never heard of those fig bars. I'd choose Fig Newtons and they come in various flavors now. I think some are reduced calorie, too. You had a busy day, that's for sure. Enjoy dinner--hope it is nutritional!!

LL said...

I had cold cereal for lunch 3 days last week....

and I liked it.

no fig bars though.

Jo Jo said...

It's cold here and I'm a homebody. Split pea, chicken and turkey soups for me!

rad6 said...

totally laughing at this great post!

Becky said...

Oh least you didn't have ice cream for dessert for BOTH lunch and dinner. AND have chips and dip as an after dinner/dessert snack. I couldn't stop eating yesterday. I need a food intervention.

Cynthia said...

I have to applaud the diet cherry Dr. Pepper! But fig bars?! There's no chocolate in those!!!

Alana said...

Couldn't even spring for the Fig Newtons? I think perhaps I've wasted my calories on less appetizing things before out of desperation, but not often. Have some raw broccoli. Always makes me feel better.

Darleen said...

Jen, seriously, you gotta have a column in a newspaper! Your posts bring a smile to my face every time!