Sunday, May 8, 2011

on Mothering

My youngest sister lost a child in May of last year. 
No mother should EVER have to lose a child.  It was a difficult emotional period for Becky, and for everyone that cares about her.  Riding that wave of emotions has allowed me to glimpse at the "why" behind my thoughts and feelings, and it has been an enlightening journey for me.  Because the difficulty of her losing a son became the strongest surge of what I was battling emotionally for myself, and as a support for her, I was unable to focus on exactly what it was that made this loss feel especially hard.  
On Mother's Day I share part of this with you.  
Becky is an amazing Mom.  
She takes her mothering very seriously, but sprinkles it with a generous amount of fun and smothers it with love.   
Becky became the mother who influenced my life and my mothering way before her loss. 
Her youngest son Ben was born with disabilities that most of us look at and humbly bow our heads and think “Wow… how sad, how hard or I’m so glad that didn’t have to be me.” 
Becky looked at her son as a gift; as an opportunity to feel closer to heaven. She felt great joy in being Ben's mother.  She reached out to others using her son’s differences as a tool to draw us all closer. 
To most, it seems more natural to pull away from someone like Ben, and yet Becky would use him as the magnet to draw complete strangers into her journey of love with Ben. 
He went everywhere she went. He became a physical and tangible statement of “we are ALL children of loving heavenly parents."
She helps others see that when we allow ourselves to see beyond what our human eyes can comprehend, we learn that we each have gifts that are divine and Oh, SO good. 
Being around Becky makes me a happier person. She is positive, motivating and sees the good in everyone, despite what some might consider defects. She has a gift to love unconditionally–especially to those who wear their differences on the outside.
She is a mother.  She is a teacher.  She is a giver. 
She makes me want to be better.  To love more deeply.
She is my inspiration. 
Her mothering has an eternal perspective that changes the way I see imperfections. 
I am a better mother because of her.  I am also lucky to call her sister.


Joy said...

What a beautiful tribute! I'm not surprised there are so many wonderful mothers in your family. Thank-you both for such inspiring examples. :-)

LL said...


ellen said...

Becky's the bomb dot mom.

Whitney Johnson said...

Jenny -

Macy told me about your tribute while we were in Calgary this weekend -- I had to come visit.

So, so beautiful -- a reflection of you, as much as it is of Becky.

Much love.

shirlgirl said...

A beautiful post, Jenny. Thanks. And, I'm proud to be your aunt. There's lots of wisdom here. And I'll bet that Ben enjoyed the flavor of that carrot cake that his Mom made for him. I can just taste it myself!

Doran & Jody said...

WONDERFUL post Jenny!!

Did they do a clip on tv before? He looks so familiar.

Becky said...

I'm honored Jenny. Thank you for such a beautiful tribute! I love you! xoxo (with tears)

The Mormon Monk said...


Wiggles said...

Beautiful Jenny! You are so right on. Yo write with such passion. The picture choices were just right too.

Jo Jo said...

Proud to just be related.